A Monster In All of Us
by lLegendsl
Summary: Of the many paths one can choose, some venture into the darkest parts of ourselves, somewhere we never thought we had. These are the stories of a few such paths... Originally "I Wander," now the beginning of a compilation.
1. I Wander

**Just a random thing that appeared in my head while at work (God, if this is what my mind skips to when I'm zoning, I should consult a therapist). This is pretty much my debut on the Elsword fanfic. Please take good care of me, give advice, review, and all that bull. If you don't happen to get it through the story (which means I REALLY failed), it's a Crimson Avenger!**

* * *

**I Wander**

* * *

I wander, passing from place to place, looking wearily at the war-torn landscape of Feita.

I do not think; rather, I do not _want _to think. The voices - they're still there, and they hound me every step of my way. I found shutting my thought processes helps with the voices. They're only whispers, not the screams that once tormented me.

The other way was far more effective, yet the chances were increasingly rare, and it only lasted for a sweet instance.

I continue to wander, letting my feet take me where they wish to go. I will find the destination eventually.

The voices whisper to me. **Blood. Kill. DIE.**

In the distance. I turn my head toward the noise. This sound... I remember it well. The dull clang of steel, shouting and roars, the twang of a bowstring, and I catch the acrid scent of magic residue.

There is a battle.

I run toward the source, dearly hoping it was so. The thought makes me smile until my face aches. The cure, the remedy. It was so close, so tantalizingly close. Over the hill I run. On the top, I stop.

A battle between humans and demons. I cut the palm of my right hand, feeling the sticky blood drip between my fingers. How many times have I done this, I wonder. A thick scar crosses my palm, a testament to this ritual and habit.

Without hesitation, I leap into the middle of the demon formation. All around me stare in confusion at the figure that boldly jumped into their midst. That was fine by me.

It gave me more than enough time to eviscerate a dozen of them.

The voices stopped.

It seems they've finally recovered from the shock. I hear a commander bark out orders as the others scrambled into formation.

**Oh, how I love their screams.**

Their shields mattered not. I crushed them with my blood-empowered swings.

**Oh, how I love their eyes of despair.**

They aimed their spears at me. I dodged them as easily as I dodged their soaring heads and spraying blood.

**When they know what they do is futile...**

They nocked their arrows. I ran them through - as if I'd give them the chance.

**...Only then will they know what my mission is.**

The commander realizes he's alone, the sole survivor of a massacre. He raises his sword and yells in defiance. I can hear the trembling of his voice. I can hear his fear.

**This is what I live for.**

Almost as soon as I'm done swinging his blood off my claymore, I can hear a rumble. I turn to see an army of glitters and golems marching toward me, gargoyles covering the sky. How they surprised me matters not. What matters is how familiar this scene was to the scene that scars my memory.

The voices returned. **Spill their blood. Kill them all. THEY MUST DIE!**

I clutch my head, both in surprise and fear. Never had this happened before; never have the voices come in combat. I cannot let them win. This is my only solace. I'll be damned if you take it away from me.

I return to reality. I look at the army of hundreds and before me and do the only thing I could do.

I charged.

**Kill... Butcher... Destroy... Torment!**

I've never felt so alive. Every spell sapped my strength till my knees buckled, but every flurry of blades restored my fortitude. I danced in their ranks, as I shifted from a swift angel of death on the desolate wind to an unstoppable demon of destruction, crushing through their ranks.

My blade is empowered by my blood. It cleaves through their weapons and armor as easily as it cleaves through flesh.

My very shadow helps me fight, filling the enemy with fear as I stab the cowardice out of their eyes.

I hurl a saw blade of black blood, noting with satisfaction as it bisects everything it passes through.

I struggle to breathe. There's so much blood, dust, and gore in the air. I have to take care not to accidentally swallow.

Adrenaline courses through me. Oh yes, this was worth the wait. The most satisfying battle in weeks! I see how they tremble as they confront me. I watch their fake courage fade as they realize they are the last in their group standing.

I could not stop smiling.

I feel their weapons hit me from time to time. I do not care. Their deaths are all I seek, and in their death, I find the strength to fight on. I pay no heed to arrows in my body. I pay no attention to the gashes from their blades. Those will heal in time. I can only slow the festering in my mind.

In the back, I hear the humans shouting as they attempted to help me.

**THEY ARE MY PREY. YOU WILL NOT GET TO THEM FIRST!**

With all my will, all my strength, I call forth as much blood as I can afford to empower my blade. The direction that my blade points turns dark as black explosions rupture through space. I can see it. Through this black void is my Sword of Fate. The fate that I had embraced so long ago. The fate that I now reject with all my heart.

I reach for the Sword. With one slash, the explosions branch into life-seeking thorns, hungrily seeking for the lives of the demons before me. As I watch them impale themselves into flesh and stone, the line where I slashed darkens the world.

**I will kill them all.**

In that dark, the voices stopped again.

When the world came to, every demon was gone.

I laugh. I laugh and I laugh and I cannot stop laughing. In the back of my head, it sounds like an insane person's cackle. But it feels sooooo good...

**Their shattered corpses rest by my feet.**

A wave of dizziness hits me. Every battle. I fall to my knees as I struggle to stay conscious. The toll of blood never got any lighter, and every experience was never more pleasant.

It didn't matter. The demons were dead, and the voices had stopped.

I hear voices. Not those voices. Human voices. I turn to look at who was speaking. It's been so long since I heard human speech that I don't know what they're saying.

There's a small group a few feet away, weapons drawn and at the ready. They are obviously seasoned warriors, despite how they look; only the foolish lower their weapons in a battlefield. Besides, I must be a sight to see, with this blood covering me from head to toe. I see a purple-haired girl, dressed in a white uniform and an iceball at the ready. A mage. One of my comra-

**NO. DO NOT REMEMBER.**

I shift my gaze to the others. An elven archer. A man with a mechanical arm. A girl with two servants in front of her, standing guard. Someone in white armor, cannon pointed at me. A spearwoman with fox tails. Some boy with six things floating near him. These people mattered not. They were nothing to me.

The red-haired boy though... Why does he look at me like that?

He stares at me, blank look of shock on his face. He resembles the knights of Velder, with his armor, his stance, and his bearing. I can't help but feel some sort of faint... pride...?

I could not remember. **I DIDN'T WANT TO REMEMBER**.

So I did the only thing I could; I stared back. We stood there, looking at each other's eyes for several minutes. The boy breaks the ice by saying one word, a one-worded question that causes the others to lower their weapons.

"Elesis?"

How long has it been since I heard my name? The last people who called me by that name were my comrades, my comrades who-

_She lay on the ground, bleeding from her leg that folded in the opposite direction. She could only watch helplessly as the people she worked with for so long were slowly killed off by the ambushing demons, one by one. They had just finished their mission; they were supposed to make it back safely. No one expected this carnage, and it resulted in their demise. She lay there, drowning in the screams of those close to her, cursing the growls and roars of those who took their lives, cursing her powerlessness to change anything._

_She lay there far after the battle was over, desperately clinging to life as the darkness approached from the corner of her vision. She remembered and reached into her pocket. The very thing that they worked so hard to take could be her salvation - Amethyst's crystal. She knew what could happen, the price she might pay. It didn't matter. Someone had to live on. They had to carry their last words, their wishes and dreams, their regrets. Most importantly, someone had to exact vengeance. Bloody vengeance. She let the energy of the crystal flow through her..._

I clutch my head and involuntarily groan in torment. The reasons I fought, the reason I chose to live... what did it matter? I had to get out of here. Too many painful thoughts. I needed to escape from the torment.

So I walked away.

They called for me, tried to get me to stop. The red-haired boy even grabbed my shoulder, desperation with his pleas. I could only glare at him. How dare he try to keep me from my solace?! I had a mission to do. Exact bloody vengeance on those demons.

They shouldn't have messed with me. They shouldn't have messed with me. **Theyshouldnthavemessedwithmetheyshouldnthavemessedwithmetheyshouldnthavemessedwith...**

I shrugged off his hand and continued. They did not stop me again. I felt their gaze as they watched me walk over the ruins and the corpses of the slain demons.

I did not look back, and I no longer felt their stares.

The voices returned, a little louder than before. **Blood. Want. NEED!**

What do I have to do to satisfy you all, I screamed in my mind. How many more must I butcher to sate your bloodthirst?

**I want more. I... NEED... MORE.**

It mattered not. The demons' screams were music, the din of their dying a beautiful symphony to my ears. The feeling when my blade pierces through their flesh, the satisfaction when I crack their skull and bones. I conquer their strong, trample their weak. Their blood will sate my thirst, their flesh my hunger. As long as a single demon still draws breath, I will not stop hunting. I will not stop killing.

The voices dimmed. **Kill...**

I wander, the voices my only company.

**The waiting - it eats at my mind...**

I hope for the next battle.

* * *

**Part of me wants to make a series of these for every character, every job path, instead of this being a lonely oneshot. Tell me what you think, and depending on responses, I'll change the title and yada yada to make this a compilation.**

**1/11/2015: Gonna make this a compilation of what I think is the "darkest path" that each character can choose. You might disagree, but I'll try to MAKE it dark ufufufu...**


	2. Entries of a Time Traveler

**Another spontaneous story after a million years of inactivity. It's also a different approach to the writing I'm used to, so if it feels a bit off in any way, let me know. Otherwise, enjoy this take on Diabolic Esper!**

* * *

**Entries of a Time Traveler**

* * *

AES (After Elrios Split) 20XX, Trial 0

Well, this is less of a trial than me ordering my thoughts on a journal. At last! I've done it! Through hardships, endless calculations, and the 'contribution' of others, I'm finally capable of space-time travel! So exciting, I cannot wait! Just hold on a little longer, Mother, Father. I will see you again, and I will save you... We will be together again, at long last. I won't be seeing those annoying brats that stick next to my lovely Eve anymore, kuhuhu. Wait, will I be able to see Eve in the past?! All the more reason to go! I keep hearing from the purple midget that 'it's dangerous, you might cause damage to blah blah blah.' No clue why she keeps bringing it up. I hate conversing with them; it's like they're trying to replace you two. No one will replace you two. I will save you and live with you two. I could bring you back or just decide to live with you. I can tell you what it took to get to you, and...

_[the rest of the entry consists of the writer's plans with his family.]_

* * *

BES (Before Elrios Split) XXX, Trial 1

_[The entry is shakily and hastily written, as if the writer were trembling in rage.]_

HOW can this be?! My calculations were... no, no, I will not say they were perfect. Perfection doesn't exist in this world, try as I might. The more accurate term might be adequate... sufficient?

It was supposed to be a sky wreathed in the fires of burning buildings. The air was to be suffocating, filled to the brim with smoke and despair. The ground was to be bare and trodden by those who wished my family harm.

It wasn't supposed to look so blissful.

I saw them. My loving mother, my strong father, and me. They were living happily in their house in the middle of a flower-filled prairie. The sky was clear and blue, without a worry in the world. This was wrong. I was supposed to save them. I was supposed to live with them. ME, not some _[a long, venomous tirade toward the other Add]_ who has no idea of what I've been through!

I couldn't believe the Dynamos displayed a 42.72% discrepancy rate. Almost half of this world was a falsification of what I sought. I will try again. It is obvious I am in a different timeline. An elementary mistake by me, and I will not make it again.

* * *

_[The next few entries consist of complex mathematical formulas accompanied by related doodles.]_

* * *

BES XXX, Trial 5

Discrepancy rate of 38.76% is far too inadequate. Strange... I was certain I would make better progress than this. It leaves me... depressed and with a bitter taste in my mouth. Why do I feel sadder than I did beginning this mission? Is it because of the familiar faces in joy, a joy that I never had? I believe I have found a huge error in my previous calculations, though. Perhaps this will make headway.

* * *

_[The next few entries consist of complex mathematical formulas accompanied by related doodles. There are a couple dark droplets on the last few entries.]_

* * *

BES XXX, Trial 13

Discrepancy rate of 20.14%... Much more progress, but still nowhere near enough. My eyes have been hurting lately. Most likely an unprecedented side effect of constant time-space travel, I noticed the very edge of my sclera begin to darken. This most recent attempt actually involved me bleeding from the eyes. There is no time for rest, however. I'm getting closer! Eve, are you watching me now? Wait, which Eve should be watching, kuhuhu... the one that I know or the one I've yet to meet?

* * *

_[The next few entries consist of complex mathematical formulas accompanied by related sketches and unrelated doodles, mostly of what is likely Eve. There are dried blood droplets on every entry.]_

* * *

BES XXX, Trial 25

Discrepancy rate of 15.97%. Progress has obviously slowed. My eyes no longer hurt, but what was once white is now inky black. It seems to be more than just physical side-effects, as the change only occurs when in Dynamo Configuration Mode or when attempting space-time activities. Could these be spacial-temporal effects when excessively in different timelines? I hope this doesn't scare you, Mother and Father. On the note of effects, the Dynamos seem to be changing as well. I've noted a faint crystallization on the exterior; no visible damage to the interior workings. Same on the edges of my clothing. This doesn't count as space dust, does it? Ugh, even in the middle of space-time, there is no such thing as cleanliness.

* * *

_[The next few entries consist of complex mathematical formulas accompanied by related sketches. Upon closer examination, there appears to be a faint amount of crystal residue on the pages.]_

* * *

BES XXX, Trial 32

Discrepancy rate of 4.84%. MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH! The world I teleport to now has the same atmosphere as I remember. The fire, the smoke, and the presence of scum... all are present! I must have spent hours staring at the scenery. It was so wrong, but I've never felt so relieved. I can do this. The details involving this are so many I couldn't possibly put them in this journal, but I'll leave the bare bones in just in case. It regards space and time in a way that normal idiots wouldn't understand. Hell, I'll bet that even the purple midget wouldn't know. Maybe... this much knowledge would kill that bastard Elsword from brain overload, kuhuhu... They think they've figured the nuances of time and space, but they're all wrong!

Speaking of scum and killing, my stupor caused those parents of mine to die. The scum killed them again.

They got what they deserved.

* * *

_[The next entries contain a detailed, yet brief explanation on the culminations of the writer's research. Afterwards, a continuation of formulas and sketches.]_

* * *

BES XXX, Trial 87

Discrepancy rate of 6.19%. Why?! Why can't I go any farther?! Something's wrong. Something's very wrong. I see my parents, my loving parents, and I hate them. They're not them, but they are, aren't they? I can't stand standing by anymore; I help them. Yet when I turn to look at them, they don't see their son, the one next to them. They call me a black-eyed monster, clothed in a sinister purple and menacing spearheads floating at the ready. I explained over and over, but they do not listen. WHY DO THEY NOT LISTEN?!

I could not make any more progress after Trial 32. I have been experimenting with various factors, adjusting them to the point where they'd barely change, and no improvement. Is this fate's way of teasing me?

* * *

_[The next entries are sparsely worded, vaguely explaining the changes and results of the writer's experiments.]_

* * *

AES 20XX, Trial 190

Why? This is all wrong. I'm being watched. They sometimes come. She always comes. I see everything. I want to know the outcomes. She'll come again.

BES XXX, Trial 190

They have no future, and I can't make one.

* * *

_[The next entries are vague at best, portraying the ramblings of a delusional madman.]_

* * *

AES 20XX, Trial _[The number is illegible.]_

She came again. I am here.

bes xxx, trial _[The number is covered in blood.]_

_[The following entry is shakily written, evidently without thought or clarity, and otherwise smeared in blotchy marks of blood.]_

**i write thsi with stikcy hands a nd im so srory im so sorry i ddint me an to kill yu but i did and im sorry i coulndt stan d it any more you tow are not my rea l fmaily you ar fakes i trid so hard to mee t my rela family i swore id stya sane i hpoe you b oth forgvie me so i kliled those scu m that tried t o kill you imsosoryrfrogiveme**

* * *

_[The next pages are nothing but ramblings and phrases repeated over and over again, such as 'I'm sorry' and 'Why can't I save them?' until the final entry, written in clarity once more.]_

* * *

Those created before me are nothing but eternal. Thus, I, too, stand for eternity. For those who read this, lose all hope. For I am the entity of sorrow. For I am suffering. For I am one of the eternal doomed.

I have come to realize it will never come to pass. I will never see my real mother and father. I will never exchange words with them one last time, for that time has already long passed. To return to the past which I belong, I would have to know the coordinates of space-time beforehand. That is impossible; otherwise, it would require perfect discrepancy. Nothing in this world is perfect, so that too must be impossible.

All of my work, all of my effort... for nothing. It was all worthless in the end. I was never rewarded. So, I have decided. To those who read this, take solace that you are my timeline, the one where I had parents, my goal that ended up being unreachable. To every other space-time, I'll give you until I arrive to pray to the god of your choosing. I'll destroy your damned and false worlds, regardless of the consequences.

May you all have a nice day in hell.

* * *

_[No more is written after this entry.]_


End file.
